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Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. ~ Hebrews 1:1

I’m going to the neurologist in a couple of weeks.

It’s technically my six month follow-up… about four months late. Using “the holidays” as an excuse for the delayed appointment is a good reason, but honestly, I just haven’t wanted to know what was going on in there. If I’ve been fine, does it matter? My neurologist would say “Yes.” I say, “No.” And we’re both biased.

Either way, this upcoming appointment and inevitable MRI have me thinking a lot about lesions: What do they really mean? On my first scan my neurologist said there were old lesions that could have been around for five or ten years… but I obviously never exhibited any symptoms. When comparing my first scan to my second scan, there was a reduction in lesion size and no new lesions; when comparing my second to my third scan, there was an appearance of new lesions. I was devastated at this last outcome.

I’ve tried to find information about disease progression and the appearance of lesions, but the verdict seems to be up in the air. Some studies say there is a correlation and others say that lesions are only an indicator of disease, but not necessarily an indicator of progression.

So in a few weeks, I’ll find out what’s been going on in my brain. And good or bad results, being through the latter makes this looming outcome less scary.